Blog Layout

Precautionary Actions to Take When Considering a Divorce

Allison Gerli • Feb 05, 2021

Precautionary Actions to Take When Considering a Divorce 

The decision to get a divorce is often an extremely complicated one, combining a great deal of emotional and financial stress. Some people choose to consult with an attorney early in the decision-making process in order to better understand their options and legal rights under the law. Others may talk to friends who have gone through a divorce or do research on their own. There is no singular path to reaching the decision to get divorced. Likewise, there is no singular path to getting divorced when working with the right attorney. No matter which path you choose, it is important to protect yourself while you are making these life-altering decisions. 

The list below details precautionary actions that you may want to take when you are considering a divorce: 

1.      Credit Cards. 

  • Cancel all joint credit cards immediately.   
  • If you do not already have a credit card, consider applying for one now.



2.      Bank Accounts. 

  • Contact your financial institution where any joint accounts are held and ask about their procedures to eliminate the possibility of either spouse removing funds without a specific court order while the divorce case is pending. 
  • If you do not already have a bank account in your name only, consider opening one.


3.      Loans & Debts.  If you have loans in joint names or loans that you have guaranteed, contact your lender about the following:

  • Assurance that you will be notified of all late payments.
  • Learn the procedure (if any) for removing yourself from liability. For example, your spouse obtained a new loan written in his or her name alone.
  • Consider requesting a credit report and be sure to provide a copy to your attorney.


4.      Keep a Record. Make notes of conversations with your spouse that may be relevant to the divorce case, specifically everything related to custody. Make a record of the custody arrangement you and your spouse are following, noting when your spouse is contacting and spending time with the children. 


5.      Get Help.  

  • You may want to talk to your financial planner or tax expert to assist you in making decisions prior to and during your divorce case. If you do not have either, you may wish to find one now or ask your attorney if they have any referrals.
  • If you are in counseling or psychotherapy for yourself, it is most likely important to continue. If you are not in counseling, you may want to consider it now. Therapists can assist with the emotional roller coaster many people experience in your situation. Regular sessions can ease the stress and may indeed help you limit legal fees incurred during the divorce process. 


6.      Negotiations with Your Spouse.  Please discuss your plan for negotiating with your spouse with your attorney in advance. Always keep in mind the following:

  • “Settlement” agreements between the two of you are nonbinding—and, therefore, can be an exercise in futility.  Additionally, you may accidentally make an agreement before knowing your legal rights.
  • Settlement in divorce is a “package.” It is better not to agree to one thing out of the context of complete settlement. There are many ways to “divide the pie.” 
  • If possible, reach agreements on the payment of bills and use of credit cards while the case is pending. If you are still residing in the same house, discuss the logistics of continuing to reside together or a plan for one spouse moving.

 

7.      Safety.

  • Consider establishing a PO box or switching your mailing address to that of a close friend or relative, especially if you are still residing with your spouse.
  • Find a place to keep documents safe and away from your spouse.
  • Make sure to change any settings on your phone, computer, tablet, or websites that are programmed to share information with your spouse, such as shared calendars or apps that track and share your location.
  • Be mindful of any devices that have shared text messaging capabilities. For example, are your text messages simultaneously updated on your iPad or laptop?
  • Be cautious about the possibility that your spouse may have installed spyware on electronic devices or a GPS tracking device on your vehicle. Even without intentional effort on the part of your spouse, shared cell phone accounts may keep a record of your location that is accessible to your spouse. 


8.      Social Media.

  • Be aware of any information that you put on the internet that may be accessible and viewable to others.
  • Consider taking a hiatus from any form of social media while your case is pending, particularly the sharing of personal information regarding your situation or spouse. Posts on Facebook and Instagram can be used as evidence in your case. Even if you have your profile set to private, mutual friends or relatives that are still in touch with your spouse, may share the information that you post with your spouse.
  • If you have previously posted on social media and are concerned about the content, you should discuss your concerns and the best course of action on how to handle this situation with your attorney.


All of the attorneys at The Center for Family Law have experience representing individuals going through divorce or a legal separation, and would be happy to sit down with you to discuss your options and legal rights. Please contact us today to schedule a consultation. 


02 Jan, 2024
Ready to start anew but feeling lost? Look no further than the Second Saturday Divorce Workshop, hosted by The Center for Family Law. This workshop will offer tools and resources for every step of the process, providing guidance on important topics such as child custody, support, and property division. Register for second Saturday 2024 now!
17 Nov, 2023
Once again, The Center for Family Law has been ranked as a 2024 "Best Law Firm" by U.S. News & World Reports in the area of family law in St. Louis.
By Allison Gerli 21 Aug, 2023
Navigating family law can be a complex and daunting process. That's why the recent Missouri Bar Family Law Conference brought together Missouri attorneys in the field to share insights and best practices. Attorneys at The Center for Family Law were among the presenters and in attendance at the 23rd annual conference held in Branson, Missouri. Their presentations focused on managing client expectations, initial consultation, drafting documents, case management, and grandparent visitation, third-party custody, and guardianships. Initial Consultation & Managing Client Expectations To ensure a positive attorney-client relationship, it is crucial to establish clear expectations from the very beginning. This was the focus of Allison Gerli's presentation at the conference. Allison co-presented with Andrea Pate, a family law attorney and partner at The Law Office of the Ozarks. It is crucial for attorneys to establish a solid foundation of trust and communication with their clients from day one, as this sets the tone for the entire legal process. Allison stressed the significance of active listening and open dialogue during these initial meetings, allowing clients to express their concerns and goals. Allison's presentation also highlighted the importance of transparency in managing client expectations. Attorneys should provide honest assessments of their clients' cases, outlining both the strengths and potential challenges they may face. By setting realistic expectations from the outset, attorneys can help clients navigate the legal process with confidence and a clear understanding of what lies ahead. The presentation then shifted to the importance of talking to clients about process options. Often practitioners focus on the substance and overlook the process. Clients have options on how to resolve their disputes and this should be presented and supported by practitioners. The Center for Family Law prides itself on process options and educating clients on their options, whether that by an uncontested "kitchen table" style divorce, collaborative divorce process, mediation, or a semi-litigated case resolved through cooperative attorneys sitting down to work through issues. Case Management Case management is critical to providing quality services to family law clients. Ann Bauer's presentation at the conference provided valuable insights and best practices in this area. Ann co-presented with Kristen Siegel, a family law attorney and partner at Siegal & Irwin, LLC based in Lee’s Summit, Missouri. Kristin covered the importance of carefully drafting court pleadings. In terms of case management, Ann highlighted the importance of document organization, keeping track of deadlines, and timely communication with clients. Attorneys must keep track of deadlines, court appearances, and client meetings to ensure cases progress smoothly. Clear and frequent communication with clients is crucial. Clients want to know what is going on, and not to be left wondering. It is important to provide updates, address concerns, and gather necessary information for the client’s case. Ann also discussed the significance of effective document management as a part of case management. Maintaining well-organized and easily accessible files can streamline the legal process and ensure important documents and information are readily available. F.amily law cases are often document-heavy. Keeping documents organized in a systematic way can enable the attorney to prepare for settlement and trial Grandparent Visitation, Third-Party Custody, and Guardianships Hallie Van Duren delivered a two-part presentation on the complex legal issues surrounding grandparent visitation rights, third-party custody, and guardianships. Hallie co-presented with attorney Kristen Sparks, partner at Garnholz Sparks. Typically, guardianship cases involve neglect, abuse, or the inability of the biological parents to provide a suitable environment for a child. A guardian who is appointed by the Court steps into the role of a parent in all respects. A third-party custody action can similarly result in a third-party custodian stepping completely into the role of a parent, but, unlike in guardianship cases, third-party custody can in some circumstances result in a shared custody arrangement between biological parents and non-parents. Grandparent visitation involves much more limited court-ordered contact between a grandparent and a child or children while preserving the parental right to custody. Hallie outlined the legal standards and procedures for a non-parent to seek custody or visitation of a child in each of these types of cases, emphasizing the paramount concern of establishing and preserving the child's best interests. By exploring statutes, caselaw, and examples, Hallie’s presentation analyzed which type of action would be most appropriate in different circumstances. Over the course of her two-hour presentation, Hallie examined the complex legal balance of preserving relationships between children and grandparents or other third parties while respecting parental rights. Hallie offered practical guidance for Missouri attorneys in advising clients who are either seeking to establish grandparent visitation rights, guardianship, or third-party-custody or defend against such actions.
Share by: