The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC) and the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) have provided a joint statement of guidelines for separated parents during the COVID-19
The Center for Family Law • March 19, 2020
AFCC/AAML
Families are facing daily challenges in managing life in a new reality. With long histories of working to assist children and families who experience separation and divorce, The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC) and the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) have provided a joint statement of guidelines for separated parents during the COVID-19 Pandemic. If you have questions or concerns, please contact a family law attorney for more guidance.
Seven Guidelines for Parents Who Are Divorce/Separated and Sharing Custody of Children During the COVID19 Pandemic
From the leaders of groups that deal with families in crisis:
Susan Myres, President of American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML)
Dr. Matt Sullivan, President of Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC)
Annette Burns, AAML and Former President of AFCC
Yasmine Mehmet, AAML
Kim Bonuomo, AAML
Nancy Kellman, AAML
Dr. Leslie Drozd, AFCC
Dr. Robin Deutsch, AFCC
Jill Peña, Executive Director of AAML
Peter Salem, Executive Director of AFCC
1. BE HEALTHY.
Comply with all CDC and local and state guidelines and model good behavior for your children with intensive hand washing, wiping down surfaces and other objects that are frequently touched, and maintaining social distancing. This also means BE INFORMED. Stay in touch with the most reliable media sources and avoid the rumor mill on social media.
2. BE MINDFUL.
Be honest about the seriousness of the pandemic but maintain a calm attitude and convey to your children your belief that everything will return to normal in time. Avoid making careless comments in front of the children and exposing them to endless media coverage intended for adults. Don’t leave the news on 24/7, for instance. But, at the same time, encourage your children to ask questions and express their concerns and answer them truthfully at a level that is age-appropriate.
3. BE COMPLIANT with court orders and custody agreements.
As much as possible, try to avoid reinventing the wheel despite the unusual circumstances. The custody agreement or court order exists to prevent endless haggling over the details of timesharing. In some jurisdictions there are even standing orders mandating that, if schools are closed, custody agreements should remain in force as though school were still in session.
4. BE CREATIVE.
At the same time, it would be foolish to expect that nothing will change when people are being advised not to fly and vacation attractions such as amusement parks, museums and entertainment venues are closing all over the US and the world. In addition, some parents will have to work extra hours to help deal with the crisis and other parents may be out of work or working reduced hours for a time. Plans will inevitably have to change. Encourage closeness with the parent who is not going to see the child through shared books, movies, games and FaceTime or Skype.
5. BE TRANSPARENT.
Provide honest information to your co-parent about any suspected or confirmed exposure to the virus, and try to agree on what steps each of you will take to protect the child from exposure. Certainly both parents should be informed at once if the child is exhibiting any possible symptoms of the virus.
6. BE GENEROUS.
Try to provide makeup time to the parent who missed out, if at all possible. Family law judges expect reasonable accommodations when they can be made and will take seriously concerns raised in later filings about parents who are inflexible in highly unusual circumstances.
7. BE UNDERSTANDING.
There is no doubt that the pandemic will pose an economic hardship and lead to lost earnings for many, many parents, both those who are paying child support and those who are receiving child support. The parent who is paying should try to provide something, even if it can’t be the full amount. The parent who is receiving payments should try to be accommodating under these challenging and temporary circumstances.
Adversity can become an opportunity for parents to come together and focus on what is best for the child. For many children, the strange days of the pandemic will leave vivid memories. It’s important for every child to know and remember that both parents did everything they could to explain what was happening and to keep their child safe.
We are proud to share that Ann Bauer will be honored at the 27th Annual Women's Justice Awards on April 10, 2025, as one of this year's recipients in the "Mentor" category. This award celebrates experienced legal professionals who have played an important role in guiding and supporting the next generation of attorneys. Ann’s journey in family law began with co-founding her first firm in 2009, eventually leading to the establishment of The Center for Family Law in 2013. What began as a small practice has grown into a dynamic firm with a team of attorneys and staff dedicated exclusively to family law. Ann has been the heart of this growth—leading with purpose, mentoring with compassion, and consistently advocating for positive change. Ann's unwavering commitment to transforming how families navigate legal separation has helped shift the focus from adversarial litigation to a more compassionate approach to resolution, especially within the collaborative divorce process and in mediation. Her philosophy and approach to family law continue to influence and guide a new generation of legal professionals and practitioners she has mentored throughout her career. Whether she's mentoring within the firm or taking the time to speak with a law student, Ann is always generous with her time, wisdom, and support. She also shares her expertise through active service on numerous committees dedicated to family law and domestic violence. Please join us in congratulating Ann on this well-deserved honor. We are grateful for her vision and proud to continue building on the foundation she helped establish at The Center for Family Law.
The Center for Family Law is excited to announce the start of its fourth year hosting the Second Saturday Divorce Workshops, providing valuable support and guidance to individuals navigating the divorce process.
The holiday season can be a balancing act for all parents, but it can be especially challenging for divorced parents who need to coordinate plans with a former spouse and navigate interactions with new partners. While some stress is to be expected, with careful planning, flexibility, and the right mindset, you can make the holidays smoother for everyone. Here are a few tips to help you manage. Prioritizing the Children. The holidays are a time for children, and their well-being should be the focus of the schedule. Whether it's your first holiday post-divorce or you have had a few years to adjust, there are simple steps you can take to make the season easier for them. Create a Joint Plan. Collaborate with your ex to ensure the children can spend time with both of you without feeling torn. A clear, shared plan helps avoid confusion and conflict. This might involve splitting the day between both households or longer periods of time with each parent to allow for out-of-town travel to visit relatives. It is important that parents are on the same page on what schedule will be followed and that is communicated to the children as a joint plan. Balance Traditions with Flexibility. It is natural to want to keep cherished family traditions, but flexibility is key. Discuss with your co-parent which traditions are most important and find a realistic way to divide them. This ensures that the kids do not feel pressured to choose between one tradition or family, allowing them to enjoy special moments with both sides. Create New Traditions. This is an opportunity to start fresh. Let go of old expectations and focus on what will bring joy to your current family setup. Whether changing when your holiday meal occurs or coming up with new ways to celebrate with those who matter now, these changes can redefine your holiday experience in a way that reflects your family as it is today. Remember, children care more about spending time with you and celebrating together than about the exact day. [The Right] Communication is Key. Keeping communication focused on the kids can help prevent old conflicts from resurfacing. Keep discussions brief and to the point. Set times to address important matters and confirm plans through a message or email to ensure everyone is aligned and to prevent miscommunication. Involving New Partners. Whether it is you or your ex with a new partner, you should be mindful of how this change can stir emotions and make the situation feel uncertain. If planning to include a new partner in holiday activities, having a conversation with your ex beforehand is best. Discuss your plans for the day and make sure your ex is comfortable with the arrangement. If you are nervous about being around your ex’s new partner, remember that you have the right to decide how much or how little to engage with this new person, all while keeping things positive and calm for the children. Children may also need time to adjust to a new partner, particularly if the relationship is still fresh. Monitor how they are coping and give them space to process these changes. Do not force interactions, and if possible, let the relationship evolve naturally. Spending Time with Former In-Laws. Another challenge during the holidays for separated parents is dealing with ex-in-laws. Seeing them may feel awkward, but it is often necessary for the children's sake. If spending time with your ex-in-laws feels too emotionally challenging, be honest with yourself and them. It is okay to politely decline an invitation if it being there would cause too much stress. Regardless of how you feel about your ex-in-laws, remember that ex-in laws are still important figures in your children’s lives, and it is often best for the kids if you maintain a relationship with them. Encourage your children to spend time with their grandparents or other relatives from your ex’s family when possible. Remember even when feeling frustrated, remind yourself that cooperation between parents benefits the children, making these moments more manageable.