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Child Custody 101: Legal Custody vs. Physical Custody
Courtney Green • October 8, 2020
Whether you are considering divorce or in the middle of a contentious custody case, it is important to understand the different types of child custody so that you can create a parenting plan that works best for you and your family.
Legal Custody vs. Physical Custody – What’s the Difference?
Legal custody refers to the rights and the obligation to make decisions about a child. The types of decisions can include choices such as: education, religious upbringing, non-emergency medical decisions or procedures, extracurricular activities, childcare provider, choice of pediatrician or counselor, purchase or operation of a motor vehicle, contraception and sex education, and even decisions relating to actual or potential litigation on behalf of the children.
Legal custody decisions are major decisions affecting the health, welfare, and education of the child. Day-to-day decision making, such as what to eat for lunch, which emergency room to bring the child to if they break their foot, or what type of toothpaste to use is up to the parent exercising parenting time at that time.
Physical custody
refers to which parent the child is physically with at any given time, specifically, where the child is residing that night and which parent is caring for them. This type of custody is what most people think of when they hear “parenting time,” “parenting schedule,” or “custody arrangement.” It is the custody schedule that you are negotiating. It is important to take into account school, work, and travel schedules when deciding on physical custody.
Sole Custody vs. Joint Custody – What’s the Difference?
Now that you know the difference between legal custody and physical custody, we can talk about the four types of physical custody and legal custody arrangements you can request, and what that means for you and your child. Within legal custody and physical custody, parents either have sole legal or joint legal, and sole physical or joint physical custody.
Joint legal custody is the most common type of legal custody. It refers to both parents making decisions together for the best interest of the child. Of course, as in any family, there are some decisions where parents may not see eye to eye. Opening the lines of communication can be difficult for a family going through a period of transition; however, it is important, now more than ever, for parents to listen, empathize, and compromise with one another when it comes to making decisions that will affect their children for years to come.
Sole legal custody refers to one parent having the sole authority to make decisions regarding health, education, and welfare on behalf of the child. This is not typical of most custody situations; however, it is not altogether rare. There are some situations when parents may agree, or a judge may order, that one parent should have sole legal custody of the child. Such circumstances that may warrant sole legal custody include, but are not limited to: one parent living a great distance away, there is a significant history of abuse or neglect, or one parent significant and untreated substance abuse or mental health issues.
Joint physical custody,
as with joint legal custody, is the most common form of physical custody. In this scenario, the parents share equal parenting time of the child, or close to equal. A joint physical custody schedule can look very different for different people. There is no cookie-cutter way to share parenting time that can be applied to every family. In negotiating a parenting plan, be sure to keep in mind work and school schedules. Some schedules may look great on paper but remember these schedules have to work for you and your family in your every day lives.
Sole physical custody refers to one parent being given all or almost all of the physical time with the child. It is uncommon for one parent to be given sole physical custody, but it is an option when one parent has significant impairments that affect their ability and willingness to actively perform their functions as a parent. Such impairments may include, but are not limited to: untreated substance or alcohol abuse, untreated mental illness, or abusive or neglectful behaviors.
Physical Custody vs. Visitation Rights – What’s the Difference?
If one parent is granted sole physical custody due to the other parent’s inability to parent safely or effectively, it does not mean that the other parent cannot see their child at all. In some instances, for a myriad of reasons, a parent may be awarded sole physical custody and the other parent given visitation rights. The parent with sole physical custody will have custody of the child most of the time and the other parent will have visitation time with the child, a shorter period of time that may include some overnight visits.
There are circumstances that may require a parent’s visitation time to be supervised for the safety of the child. Most courts offer supervised visitation at the courthouse or court-approved centers, where a court-appointed/approved supervisor oversees the visit. Other times a court may allow a family member to supervise the visits with the parent. There are also private supervisors that can be involved, hourly rates ranging from of $50-$75.
Child custody is an overwhelming and emotional decision. Consulting with experienced attorneys who are knowledgeable and understanding can help ease your mind and the process of designing a parenting plan that works for you and your family. Contact us today to consult about your custody options.
Legal Custody vs. Physical Custody – What’s the Difference?
Legal custody refers to the rights and the obligation to make decisions about a child. The types of decisions can include choices such as: education, religious upbringing, non-emergency medical decisions or procedures, extracurricular activities, childcare provider, choice of pediatrician or counselor, purchase or operation of a motor vehicle, contraception and sex education, and even decisions relating to actual or potential litigation on behalf of the children.
Legal custody decisions are major decisions affecting the health, welfare, and education of the child. Day-to-day decision making, such as what to eat for lunch, which emergency room to bring the child to if they break their foot, or what type of toothpaste to use is up to the parent exercising parenting time at that time.
Physical custody
refers to which parent the child is physically with at any given time, specifically, where the child is residing that night and which parent is caring for them. This type of custody is what most people think of when they hear “parenting time,” “parenting schedule,” or “custody arrangement.” It is the custody schedule that you are negotiating. It is important to take into account school, work, and travel schedules when deciding on physical custody.
Sole Custody vs. Joint Custody – What’s the Difference?
Now that you know the difference between legal custody and physical custody, we can talk about the four types of physical custody and legal custody arrangements you can request, and what that means for you and your child. Within legal custody and physical custody, parents either have sole legal or joint legal, and sole physical or joint physical custody.
Joint legal custody is the most common type of legal custody. It refers to both parents making decisions together for the best interest of the child. Of course, as in any family, there are some decisions where parents may not see eye to eye. Opening the lines of communication can be difficult for a family going through a period of transition; however, it is important, now more than ever, for parents to listen, empathize, and compromise with one another when it comes to making decisions that will affect their children for years to come.
Sole legal custody refers to one parent having the sole authority to make decisions regarding health, education, and welfare on behalf of the child. This is not typical of most custody situations; however, it is not altogether rare. There are some situations when parents may agree, or a judge may order, that one parent should have sole legal custody of the child. Such circumstances that may warrant sole legal custody include, but are not limited to: one parent living a great distance away, there is a significant history of abuse or neglect, or one parent significant and untreated substance abuse or mental health issues.
Joint physical custody,
as with joint legal custody, is the most common form of physical custody. In this scenario, the parents share equal parenting time of the child, or close to equal. A joint physical custody schedule can look very different for different people. There is no cookie-cutter way to share parenting time that can be applied to every family. In negotiating a parenting plan, be sure to keep in mind work and school schedules. Some schedules may look great on paper but remember these schedules have to work for you and your family in your every day lives.
Sole physical custody refers to one parent being given all or almost all of the physical time with the child. It is uncommon for one parent to be given sole physical custody, but it is an option when one parent has significant impairments that affect their ability and willingness to actively perform their functions as a parent. Such impairments may include, but are not limited to: untreated substance or alcohol abuse, untreated mental illness, or abusive or neglectful behaviors.
Physical Custody vs. Visitation Rights – What’s the Difference?
If one parent is granted sole physical custody due to the other parent’s inability to parent safely or effectively, it does not mean that the other parent cannot see their child at all. In some instances, for a myriad of reasons, a parent may be awarded sole physical custody and the other parent given visitation rights. The parent with sole physical custody will have custody of the child most of the time and the other parent will have visitation time with the child, a shorter period of time that may include some overnight visits.
There are circumstances that may require a parent’s visitation time to be supervised for the safety of the child. Most courts offer supervised visitation at the courthouse or court-approved centers, where a court-appointed/approved supervisor oversees the visit. Other times a court may allow a family member to supervise the visits with the parent. There are also private supervisors that can be involved, hourly rates ranging from of $50-$75.
Child custody is an overwhelming and emotional decision. Consulting with experienced attorneys who are knowledgeable and understanding can help ease your mind and the process of designing a parenting plan that works for you and your family. Contact us today to consult about your custody options.
The Center for Family Law is excited to announce the start of its fourth year hosting the Second Saturday Divorce Workshops, providing valuable support and guidance to individuals navigating the divorce process.
The holiday season can be a balancing act for all parents, but it can be especially challenging for divorced parents who need to coordinate plans with a former spouse and navigate interactions with new partners. While some stress is to be expected, with careful planning, flexibility, and the right mindset, you can make the holidays smoother for everyone. Here are a few tips to help you manage. Prioritizing the Children. The holidays are a time for children, and their well-being should be the focus of the schedule. Whether it's your first holiday post-divorce or you have had a few years to adjust, there are simple steps you can take to make the season easier for them. Create a Joint Plan. Collaborate with your ex to ensure the children can spend time with both of you without feeling torn. A clear, shared plan helps avoid confusion and conflict. This might involve splitting the day between both households or longer periods of time with each parent to allow for out-of-town travel to visit relatives. It is important that parents are on the same page on what schedule will be followed and that is communicated to the children as a joint plan. Balance Traditions with Flexibility. It is natural to want to keep cherished family traditions, but flexibility is key. Discuss with your co-parent which traditions are most important and find a realistic way to divide them. This ensures that the kids do not feel pressured to choose between one tradition or family, allowing them to enjoy special moments with both sides. Create New Traditions. This is an opportunity to start fresh. Let go of old expectations and focus on what will bring joy to your current family setup. Whether changing when your holiday meal occurs or coming up with new ways to celebrate with those who matter now, these changes can redefine your holiday experience in a way that reflects your family as it is today. Remember, children care more about spending time with you and celebrating together than about the exact day. [The Right] Communication is Key. Keeping communication focused on the kids can help prevent old conflicts from resurfacing. Keep discussions brief and to the point. Set times to address important matters and confirm plans through a message or email to ensure everyone is aligned and to prevent miscommunication. Involving New Partners. Whether it is you or your ex with a new partner, you should be mindful of how this change can stir emotions and make the situation feel uncertain. If planning to include a new partner in holiday activities, having a conversation with your ex beforehand is best. Discuss your plans for the day and make sure your ex is comfortable with the arrangement. If you are nervous about being around your ex’s new partner, remember that you have the right to decide how much or how little to engage with this new person, all while keeping things positive and calm for the children. Children may also need time to adjust to a new partner, particularly if the relationship is still fresh. Monitor how they are coping and give them space to process these changes. Do not force interactions, and if possible, let the relationship evolve naturally. Spending Time with Former In-Laws. Another challenge during the holidays for separated parents is dealing with ex-in-laws. Seeing them may feel awkward, but it is often necessary for the children's sake. If spending time with your ex-in-laws feels too emotionally challenging, be honest with yourself and them. It is okay to politely decline an invitation if it being there would cause too much stress. Regardless of how you feel about your ex-in-laws, remember that ex-in laws are still important figures in your children’s lives, and it is often best for the kids if you maintain a relationship with them. Encourage your children to spend time with their grandparents or other relatives from your ex’s family when possible. Remember even when feeling frustrated, remind yourself that cooperation between parents benefits the children, making these moments more manageable.
(This article was originally posted in November 2024 by Courtney Green on the website of The Bar Association of Metropolitan St. Louis and can be found here .) Every year, a heartwarming and competitive event takes place that not only tests participants’ knowledge but also makes a significant impact in the lives of children affected by the criminal justice system. The annual Motion for Kids Trivia Night hosted by BAMSL’s Young Lawyers Division, has become a beloved tradition, blending fun with philanthropy to raise funds for the Saint Louis Bar Foundation’s Motion for Kids holiday event aimed at providing a magical holiday experience for children in the Metropolitan St. Louis area, most of whom are currently in foster care. A Night of Fun and Philanthropy The 2024 trivia night will be held at the Parkway United Church of Christ and draws participants from the St. Louis legal community, along with friends, family, and colleagues to compete in a lively atmosphere filled with friendly competition. The trivia night is made possible by sponsors in the legal community who play a vital role, providing financial backing and in-kind donations that help cover costs and enhance the evening’s festivities. Additionally, gracious volunteers and members of the Young Lawyers’ Division donate their time to help organize the event and ensure its success. Adding in a twist each year, the trivia night themes have ranged from the 90’s to “The Eras tour”. This years’ theme is a spooky, legal-adjacent: “Whodunnit? Beyond a Reasonable Doubt.” As the trivia rounds unfold, teams will battle it out to compete for bragging rights (and potential prizes). The questions are crafted to be both challenging and entertaining, ensuring that everyone, from trivia novices to seasoned experts, can contribute. Silent Auction, 50/50 Raffle, & Games Galore One of the highlights of the evening is the silent auction, featuring an array of enticing items donated by generous St. Louis based businesses, community members, and local firms. Ranging from gift certificates to tickets for local sporting events, attendees can bet big on items, knowing that every item raised will directly benefit the Motion for Kids holiday event. The auction not only raises vital funds but also showcases the community’s creativity and generosity. Additionally, there are other opportunities to show support for the Motion for Kids event at the trivia night, including a 50/50 raffle, and mini-games in-between rounds, which are sure to stir up excitement. The proceeds raised from these games will also be given directly to Motion for Kids. Impact on Children’s Lives The funds raised during trivia night play a crucial role in making the annual holiday party a reality. The Motion for Kids event provides a joyful experience for children who often face significant challenges in their young lives. For many of these children, the holiday party is one of the few occasions where they can experience the warmth of community, receive gifts, and enjoy festive activities in a safe and welcoming environment. BAMSL volunteers work tirelessly to create a magical atmosphere, complete with decorations, games, and a visit with Santa Claus. The smiles on the children’s faces during the party serve as a reminder of the positive impact the community can make when it comes together for a common cause. A Community Effort The Young Lawyers’ Division Trivia Night is more than just a fundraising event; it’s a testament to the power of community. Local firms, businesses, individuals, and organizations come together to ensure that children impacted by the criminal justice system feel loved and supported during the holiday season. The success of this event highlights how collective efforts can bring joy and hope to those who need it most. It is the Young Lawyers’ Division goal to not only raise money for the Motion for Kids holiday event, but to encourage a sense of accomplishment and commitment from trivia night attendees for the role they have played in the lives of these children. Trivia Night has become a cherished tradition, one that reinforces the message that together, we can create a brighter future for our most vulnerable children.
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