Military Divorce: What You Need to Know

Kate Stapleton • September 10, 2020

Military divorces and separations are unique. These cases are different from civilian divorces in that they bring special, military-only benefits to the bargaining table—specifically, military retirement and health benefits. Strict rules apply to these benefits a spouse will maintain post-divorce. Whether you or your spouse are in the military, in active duty, in the reserves, or retired, it is very important that you work with an attorney with experience in military divorce.

Below are a few points that a service member (active duty, reserves, or retired) and his/her spouse should be sure to discuss with an attorney.

Division of a Military Pension 
Service members who serve at least 20* active duty years (or have the equivalent in reserves points), or who are medically retired, will draw a pension, also referred to as an annuity. The portion of that pension that comes from DFAS (Defense Finance and Accounting Service) is divisible at divorce. The portion that comes from the VA (Veteran’s Affairs) is intended to make the service member whole, and is not divisible.   *This is under the old, “legacy” system. The retirement system for military members has recently changed. Please see “Recent Law Changes”, below.

TRICARE and Base Privileges (PX and Commissary)
  • If during a 20-year+ marriage, the service member has at least 20 years’ active duty service or the equivalent in reserves points: (1) any portion of the service member’s pension that is allocated to the spouse at divorce may be directly deposited from DFAS and into the spouse’s account; (2) the spouse may keep TRICARE benefits for life so long as he/she does not remarry or obtain healthcare from an employer; and (3) the spouse maintains base privileges for life. If you have only been married for 10 years or 15 years, you may qualify for some of these benefits as well. Be sure to discuss with an attorney. 
  • If you are a military spouse not eligible for continued TRICARE, your TRICARE benefits will terminate at midnight the day before your final divorce judgment is entered. You should look into CHCBP (a military version of COBRA) before your TRICARE benefits expire. Some are eligible for CHCBP for a limited time, and some are eligible for life.

 Do Not Leave Assets on the Table
  • SBP (Survivor Benefit Plan) – talk with your lawyer about this. If the service member draws a pension, he or she may pay a relatively low monthly fee to allow the spouse to collect the service member’s pension if the service member predeceases the spouse.
  • SGLI (Servicemembers' Group Life Insurance) – All service members are automatically enrolled in this low-cost life insurance plan upon entering military service. SGLI can be maintained into retirement, as well, and remains a low-cost option.

Servicemembers Civil Relief Act
You may be wondering about the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA), which entitles a deployed service member to stay (delay) family law proceedings during deployment and during their R&R period following deployment. The stay is not automatic. Talk with your lawyer about the SCRA.

Recent Law Changes
2017 National Defense Authorization Act
  • Under the old rule, qualifying, divorced spouses of military members were granted a percentage of the marital portion (the portion of the pension earned during the marriage) based on the service member’s rank and years of service at retirement. 
  • Under the current rule, qualifying spouses are granted their portion based on the service member’s rank and years of service at the time of divorce.
In 2018, the retirement benefit system for service members was completely revamped, and is now both more competitive with major civilian employers and much more beneficial to members who serve fewer than 20 years. This means that now, even service members with only a few years’ service will have a divisible pension at divorce. The new system applies to new military members and to those who joined after 2006 and opted in to this new plan during the 2018 opt-in period.
  • The TSP (Thrift Savings Plan – this functions like a 401(k)) is still the primary retirement vehicle for service members, but is no longer elective. Everyone is automatically enrolled.
  • The military automatically contributes 1% of the service member’s base pay to the TSP after 60 days of service, and matches up to 5% of service member contributions after two years of service. The TSP vests after two years.
  • Military pension is now 2% of base pay times number of years of service (slightly down from 2.5% under the old system)
  • Retired members may elect to take a portion of their pension in a lump sum.
An attorney experienced in military divorce will be able to discuss these issues with you, along with other details of your military life that make your case unique. We are proud to serve U.S. Military members and their families at the Center for Family Law.


By Allison Gerli April 10, 2025
We are proud to share that Ann Bauer will be honored at the 27th Annual Women's Justice Awards on April 10, 2025, as one of this year's recipients in the "Mentor" category. This award celebrates experienced legal professionals who have played an important role in guiding and supporting the next generation of attorneys. Ann’s journey in family law began with co-founding her first firm in 2009, eventually leading to the establishment of The Center for Family Law in 2013. What began as a small practice has grown into a dynamic firm with a team of attorneys and staff dedicated exclusively to family law. Ann has been the heart of this growth—leading with purpose, mentoring with compassion, and consistently advocating for positive change. Ann's unwavering commitment to transforming how families navigate legal separation has helped shift the focus from adversarial litigation to a more compassionate approach to resolution, especially within the collaborative divorce process and in mediation. Her philosophy and approach to family law continue to influence and guide a new generation of legal professionals and practitioners she has mentored throughout her career. Whether she's mentoring within the firm or taking the time to speak with a law student, Ann is always generous with her time, wisdom, and support. She also shares her expertise through active service on numerous committees dedicated to family law and domestic violence. Please join us in congratulating Ann on this well-deserved honor. We are grateful for her vision and proud to continue building on the foundation she helped establish at The Center for Family Law.
January 24, 2025
The Center for Family Law is excited to announce the start of its fourth year hosting the Second Saturday Divorce Workshops, providing valuable support and guidance to individuals navigating the divorce process.
By Allison Gerli December 20, 2024
The holiday season can be a balancing act for all parents, but it can be especially challenging for divorced parents who need to coordinate plans with a former spouse and navigate interactions with new partners. While some stress is to be expected, with careful planning, flexibility, and the right mindset, you can make the holidays smoother for everyone. Here are a few tips to help you manage. Prioritizing the Children. The holidays are a time for children, and their well-being should be the focus of the schedule. Whether it's your first holiday post-divorce or you have had a few years to adjust, there are simple steps you can take to make the season easier for them. Create a Joint Plan. Collaborate with your ex to ensure the children can spend time with both of you without feeling torn. A clear, shared plan helps avoid confusion and conflict. This might involve splitting the day between both households or longer periods of time with each parent to allow for out-of-town travel to visit relatives. It is important that parents are on the same page on what schedule will be followed and that is communicated to the children as a joint plan. Balance Traditions with Flexibility. It is natural to want to keep cherished family traditions, but flexibility is key. Discuss with your co-parent which traditions are most important and find a realistic way to divide them. This ensures that the kids do not feel pressured to choose between one tradition or family, allowing them to enjoy special moments with both sides. Create New Traditions. This is an opportunity to start fresh. Let go of old expectations and focus on what will bring joy to your current family setup. Whether changing when your holiday meal occurs or coming up with new ways to celebrate with those who matter now, these changes can redefine your holiday experience in a way that reflects your family as it is today. Remember, children care more about spending time with you and celebrating together than about the exact day. [The Right] Communication is Key. Keeping communication focused on the kids can help prevent old conflicts from resurfacing. Keep discussions brief and to the point. Set times to address important matters and confirm plans through a message or email to ensure everyone is aligned and to prevent miscommunication. Involving New Partners. Whether it is you or your ex with a new partner, you should be mindful of how this change can stir emotions and make the situation feel uncertain. If planning to include a new partner in holiday activities, having a conversation with your ex beforehand is best. Discuss your plans for the day and make sure your ex is comfortable with the arrangement. If you are nervous about being around your ex’s new partner, remember that you have the right to decide how much or how little to engage with this new person, all while keeping things positive and calm for the children. Children may also need time to adjust to a new partner, particularly if the relationship is still fresh. Monitor how they are coping and give them space to process these changes. Do not force interactions, and if possible, let the relationship evolve naturally. Spending Time with Former In-Laws. Another challenge during the holidays for separated parents is dealing with ex-in-laws. Seeing them may feel awkward, but it is often necessary for the children's sake. If spending time with your ex-in-laws feels too emotionally challenging, be honest with yourself and them. It is okay to politely decline an invitation if it being there would cause too much stress. Regardless of how you feel about your ex-in-laws, remember that ex-in laws are still important figures in your children’s lives, and it is often best for the kids if you maintain a relationship with them. Encourage your children to spend time with their grandparents or other relatives from your ex’s family when possible. Remember even when feeling frustrated, remind yourself that cooperation between parents benefits the children, making these moments more manageable.